I am still a bit under the weather and will be having an operation on my back this coming Tuesday. Shoud anyone want to check on things NJ Nielsen will be Guest posting and keeping an eye on things next while I recover. There won't be any reviews fromme fr a bit but I believe NJ has plans to do a few herself. I hope to return to a normalposting schedule soon. Thanks for you following. If you want to say Hi, you can do so here or e-mail me at Rwig43@yahoo.com
So without fiurther babbeling o n from me, heerrreee's Erica!
Men With Emotions
The sad truth is that a lot of people are still claiming that men are not emotional. From what I can see, it's mostly men who are claiming this and maybe some women complaining about her man. Men are strong and confident. They don't talk about how they feel and they most certainly don't cry, unless they're at a funeral. Crying and talking is for girls. Then there‘s the classical men write masculine men while women write emotional men.
Generalizations like these not only tick me off, but maintain ridiculous stereotyping that needs to stop.
Some say that, okay, men can be emotional but don't talk about or show their feelings. I'll buy this, to a point, but I believe the behavior is more learned rather than instinctual. I've been observing how the men around me behave and express themselves. Roughly 50% are emotional (some very) and the other 50% are able to hide it. I'd say that maybe 40% express themselves verbally while the remaining 60% take it out on the gym equipment or close themselves off by staring at a computer screen for hours (you tell me if that's healthy). But if 50% of the guys I know are emotional and roughly 40% of them express themselves with words or even tears, can statements like "men don't talk about their feelings" and "men are not emotional" be true? I'd say no, when I'm seeing evidence on the contrary.
By this I'm not saying that men and women are the same. There are different hormones that make us act differently. But testosterone levels in men varies and we‘ve all been through various stuff in our lives that affects us in different ways. It‘s just plain wrong and stereotypical to say that men behave a certain way don't behave a certain way. By saying so, people are maintaining the stereotype of the "ideal man". What does that do to guys who ARE emotional and have a hard time hiding it? It makes them targets because they aren't behaving "like men". I had a guy-friend when I was a kid. He went through daily bullying for being sensitive. This went on for years and years, all because he didn't "act like a guy" and after beatings he‘d end up crying.
We can't continue to put guys in cookie-cutters while there are so many who fit outside the form. Cookie-cutters are not only limiting and unrealistic, but also helps maintain the stereotype every man is supposed to live up to. It's just not fair (and often damaging) to those who don't fit in the cookie form.
I'm teaching my boys that it's okay to be in touch with their feelings and I encourage them to express themselves. I think it's extremely unhealthy to keep your feelings bottled up and that it can easily lead to depression later in life. They're turning 5 this year (twins) and one is very open while the other keeps everything locked up. I have to really persuade the latter to talk about how he's feeling. He acts so relieved and happy after he's talked to me and we've discussed how he‘s feeling. I'm hoping my positive encouraging will teach him that it's okay to express himself in words. I'm not turning my boys into crybabies by doing this. I think it's healthy for them to be able to identify how they're feeling. That doesn't mean they'll burst out crying whenever they're upset - it just means they're able to come to someone they trust and talk. In touch with ones feelings doesn't equal vulnerability, not that vulnerability is negative. Without vulnerable people, we wouldn‘t have so many wonderful authors, artists, poets, and painters.
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